I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Randomize
