I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
