hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
