you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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