I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
