doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
