Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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