dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
