Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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