Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
