Midget sex pt 2 tonight
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
