it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize