Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize