Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
