So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
You have to summon your inner elephant
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
