Umm I'm too high to move.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
