I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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