I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
