Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
