he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
