I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I am naked and annoyed.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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