she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
