ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Randomize
