Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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