Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
