Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize