i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
