On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
