the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
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