Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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