I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
