when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
