My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize