He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
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