you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
