currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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