We're facebook friends in real life
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
