The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Randomize
