So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
