Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
