So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Randomize
