But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
