He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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