exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
