Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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