Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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