She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
