you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
COCAINE IS GR8
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Randomize
