I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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