??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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