if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
