wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
