Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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