I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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