i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
