i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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