make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Randomize
