I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
