Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize