I'm jealous of your bromance
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
They left me at home... I'm a liability
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize