I wanna bring you to show and tell
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
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