I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize