just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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