I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
