I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
