Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
