The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
