in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize